Stay At Home Moms

I give stay at home moms ALL the credit.

I couldn’t do it.

When I was pregnant with my twins, people asked if I planned on staying home with them. My answer was always no.

When I announced that I was pregnant again not even a year after my twins were born, people asked again.

But it was more of a suggestion this time.

& my answer was still no.

Yes, I sometimes miss out on things like their first time rolling over or their first steps (this makes me super sad) but I have an amazing daycare lady who typically gets it on video for me.

& if I didn’t have such a wonderful lady taking care of my children when I can’t, my answer may be different.

But I do, and I LOVE my job.

& I LOVE my kids, but I could never give up my job for my kids.

Don’t get me wrong, if I had to, I would.

But I don’t. So until I can’t, I’m going to continue to work.

Now I am lucky enough that I get a day off a week with them and let me tell you.. that is sometimes one of my hardest days of the week. & sometimes it’s the best.

But it all depends on their mood, my mood and the weather (we enjoy sunny days better than cold snowy/rainy days).

So I give stay at home moms ALL the credit – especially if they have more than one child.

They deal with fighting.

They deal with breakfast, lunch & dinner – Will they eat what you make? Will they make a mess and need a bath? Did I make healthy enough food? Will I get them to eat food they don’t like? & will they feed it all to the dog?

They deal with SO many poopy diapers! 😳

They deal with all the naptimes – Will they sleep? How long will they sleep? How long will they cry before they fall asleep? & what can I get done while they are sleeping? Laundry? Dishes? Take a nap myself?

They deal with entertaining little ones 24’7! Are they having too much screen time? Are we getting out of the house enough? Are they interacting with other kids their age?

& most importantly, they don’t get a break.

Going to work for me is a break.

I get to interact with other adults. I get to do something I love. I’m not tearing my twins apart or making sure they don’t smother their little brother with books.

Yes, sometimes I have stressful work days and when I do, they make coming home that more enjoyable.

I miss my kids when I am at work.

Hell I miss my kids 10 minutes after I put them down for bed.

But my mental health, my sanity, needs me time. Even if it’s just going to work.

So stay at home moms… here is me giving you ALL the credit and more.

You are superhero’s. & not just in my eyes.

Today I Wanted To Give Up

Today I wanted to give up on my knee, on my diabetes and on trying to take care of kids who are always sick.

Yesterday I got an injection in my right knee for an injury I got almost FIVE years ago on the job. & I can only assume that I am having a allergic reaction to as my face looks like I’ve been sitting in the sun for 3 days straight, it feels like it is burning and my blood sugars have been between 270-370 all day no matter what I do.

So as a result, my new pump is going off every hour to let me know my blood sugar is high. Not like I can’t tell by the cotton mouth, the headache or the nausea I’ve been feeling all day… & every time it goes off, I have to push “ok” 3 times and then re-enter my blood sugar which is annoying in itself..

& of course it goes off at the most inconvenient times.. like driving through a snow storm to take your almost 3 month old son back to the doctor because his cough he has had for a week is getting worse.

I will honestly say, I screamed, I swore & I wanted to throw the damn thing out the window.

But I didn’t.

Diabetes is not something you can give up on. Knee pain is not something you can give up on. & you definitely can’t give up on your children, especially when they are sick.

So here I am. Stressed out. Headache. Cotton mouth. Nausea. A new site even though the old one was fine. & a husband who is feeding the little one while he coughs his lungs up.

Diabetes is not easy. Injuries are not easy. & parenting is not easy. But not every day is hard either.

Today was a bad day. But I’m hopeful tomorrow will be better.

Until then, let’s hope my blood sugar drops to a normal range so I don’t have to get up 1,000 times in the middle of the night to pee 🙏🏻

#diabetic #type1diabetes #kneepain #sick kids #longdays

Invisible Conditions

At age 18 I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and ever since I have struggled. When you look at me, you can not tell that I have a disease that would kill me if I gave up on it. You can not tell that I check my blood sugar constantly or give myself insulin continuously unless you see my meter or you see my insulin pump.

& then when my husband and I started trying to have kids, I was again diagnosed with yet another condition. I was infertile. PCOS and endometriosis made it that I could not have kids “naturally” and it also caused me a lot of pain. But no one could “see” why and no one liked to talk about why.

It was invisible. & it sucked.

I wouldn’t wish having any condition on anyone but especially a condition that no one can visually see. Because if you can’t see it, it’s not there, right?!

Wrong. It just makes it that much harder making people understand.

So having a son with multiple congenital heart defects that are non-symptomatic is hard. You look at him and he looks like a healthy baby boy. But he isn’t.

I’m his mom and I forget. & that makes reality hurt even more.

But that is also why I advocate for him. I fight for him. & I inform everyone that I possibly can.

Just because he may look like a healthy happy 2 month old baby doesn’t mean that he isn’t fighting for his life constantly. He is working hard to be here. Just like I am with my diabetes.

So don’t read a book by it’s cover. Invisible or not, be informed and inform others. It could potentially save a life or at the very least, it will make a hard condition easier.