NICU Heartbreak

Today marks a week since my baby boy was born. With my first pregnancy, a week meant we got to take them home, but this time is much different.

It’s been a week of not holding my baby. It’s been a week of exclusively pumping. It’s been a week of living at both the hospital and home. It’s been a week of walking through an empty nursery with an empty womb. & it’s been a week of intense emotions.

The longer he is there, the harder it gets. Yes, I’m reminded daily of the little improvements he is making but there is still no light at the end of the tunnel.

The longer he is there, the more I forget how lucky I am that he is. At first I was reminded over and over how lucky I was to have come in. His story could have been much worse if I would have waited. But now he is here and the reminders have stopped.

The longer he is there, the more hope we are given. “Hopefully you can hold him tomorrow” has been said multiple times. At first I was nervous, now it just hurts. I just want to hold my baby finally.

NICU stays are heartbreaking.

One of my friends just had a beautiful healthy baby boy. I am so happy for her but am also sad for me. She has gotten to hold her child. She has gotten to nurse her child.

What I wouldn’t do to have just had one normal birthing experience.

But I guess god has a plan & we just have to wait and see what that may be.

But until then, I apologize if I cry. I apologize if I’m not 100% with it. & I apologize if I take it out on you. This mama is trying but this mama is hurting as well.

#nicustays #nicubaby #nicumom

Potty Training

Potty Training is hard work. Especially with twins & being 35 weeks pregnant with baby #3 (dang it’s hard to bend down to pull off and up pull-ups).

But it is worth it!

Obviously the less diapers is a huge plus but there are so many more reasons why. Like seeing their eyes light up when you clap and tell them good job for going potty – & then them clapping for themselves. Or having them tell you when they need to go potty without asking (this may be subtle cues like pulling on their diaper or lifting their shirt). & in our case, seeing one follow the other to the potty without being asked (obviously a twin/sibling thing).

Now, how to start?

Here are a few tricks we have figured out the past few days incase you have little ones you are hoping to potty train.

Don’t start too early

This is a big one. Your kids need to be showing interest or it will be a waste of time for everyone involved. Our kids first started showing interest by following us into the bathroom. Then they started playing with their diapers when they were going potty or needing to go potty. So we started asking them if they needed to go & one day they just started to walk into the bathroom when we asked.

Be patient

It will take awhile & they will definitely have better days than others but don’t give up. Also, boys need to sit longer (or at least our son does) so let them take their time. I know sometimes this is a hard one since we are all very busy people and the last thing we want to do is sit in the bathroom for 15 minutes hoping they will go potty but again, it’s worth it.

Have a schedule/be consistent

We started with when they first got up, after meals, asking randomly throughout the day and before bed/nap. This helps them know when to expect it and also gives you time to plan your day around it.

Distractions

Our best distraction for potty training is having both of our twins sit at the same time. They keep each other company and they distract each other from everything else that’s going on around them. Obviously this is a twin/sibling thing but even going potty with them or giving them a book or playing a show helps them stay distracted so they stay sitting.

Incentives

At home we give them incentives. Wether this be getting to watch their show while they sit or a treat once they go potty helps keep them interested. At our daycare they get stickers which they are so proud to show us when we come get them. So nothing too fancy but something to help persuade them a little always helps.

Don’t let others change your mind

Our twins are 18 months so we get the whole “they are too young” comments a lot, but they are doing great and like I said earlier, they have been showing us interest for quite some time now. Plus, you are the parent(s), do what’s best for you and your kids – without pressuring them of course. & what worked/works for others may not work for you and your kids.

Don’t give up

They will have great days and not so great days with potty training so do not give up! Some days they may have no interest in sitting on the potty and some days you may not even need to ask. Their interest also depends on what’s going on, where they are and who is trying to help so remember to try to keep it consistent as much as possible.

& remember, potty training takes time. It’s not an overnight thing. So give it time, pick a schedule and do what’s best for you and your kids.

#pottytraining #18months #twins #parenthood

To my Kids

Today I wasn’t the best mom.

I didn’t sleep well last night and woke up with an awful headache. So instead of playing and going shopping like mom had planned, we laid around and watched movies.

My fuse was short & you were stir crazy.

Nap times came earlier. Breakfast, lunch and dinner were easy meals. & you stayed in your pjs until we had to leave the house.

I got upset easily today. I probably yelled a little too much and at times I shouldn’t have.

I know you don’t mean to fight with each other or get frustrated when something doesn’t go your way. I know you are just learning to listen and you don’t know all the rights and wrongs yet.

So I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being a bad mom today. I’m sorry for not showing you how much I love you.

But know that I do on both the good days and the bad days. & I always will.

Tomorrow I’ll be a better mom, I promise.

#parenting